All of your life, someone’s had an opinion.
When you were little, your mom dressed you – and you had to wear what she put you in! During your teenage years, your parents disapproved of what you wore, and your outfits were dictated by what your friends thought was “cool”. Then, when you grew up, you had to wear what your bosses thought was appropriate in the office (dull, grey suits don’t look good on anyone!), and even the most “independent woman” has tweaked the way she dresses to please the man in her life.
So here you are, in your thirties, forties or fifties. You’ve had a lifetime of being told what to wear and how to dress, with perhaps the odd moment of fashion rebellion which you quickly regretted (shopping or dressing in anger, frustration, or just to make a point never turns out well!). And now you’re not quite sure who your style self even is.
British feminist writer Caitlin Moran once said, “When a woman says, 'I have nothing to wear!', what she really means is, there's nothing here for who I'm supposed to be today.”
So, who is it that you’re supposed to be today? Let me give you a hint – whoever on earth it is that you want to be!
Read on to discover eight reasons why it’s vital to your happiness and success to dress only for yourself…
Eight Reasons You Should Be Dressing For Yourself
You can never feel truly confident when you rely on what others say about you and your looks. You cannot please everyone, so you might as well just please yourself - otherwise you’re giving away your power over your confidence.
A powerful presence always starts from the inside. If you feel great in your skin, the right clothes will empower you. And if you’re not completely self-assured from within, changing your style or “upgrading” your look can make you feel even more insecure because it takes you out of your comfort zone.
The more your personal style is based on who you really are, the more it allows you to be you. This is the most successful tactic in the long run. With men, with colleagues, with clients, and with family. It liberates you from the pressure of “how you should look” and gives you space to discover how you would like to look, behave and live your life.
Authenticity is super power. You are unique, and the more you allow yourself to be yourself and the wonderful and outstanding woman you really are - the more irresistible and successful you become. Men will love how unapologetic and real you are, and your business clients will know exactly what they can expect when they interact with you.
Discovering your personal style is a really good way to learn about yourself. When you allow yourself to go out of your comfort zone (for example, by wearing more colors, different styles, cut or color your hair, trying heels when you usually wear flats, or experimenting with skirts when you’re afraid to show off your knees…), the more blocks you overcome. And every block you overcome boosts your confidence further and teaches you to appreciate even more things about yourself! Not to mention that you’ll find yourself getting a lot more compliments! However, a note on compliments: Compliments are great to get, and getting them is generally confirmation that people are “seeing” the real you and the positivity that you are radiating. BUT take compliments lightly and do not base your worth around them. Giving too much power to compliments from others makes you vulnerable to their opinions.
That magnetic presence that we all dream of having and that we hope will help us to find Prince Charming/soulmate clients/life-changing opportunities always comes from focusing on yourself. The best thing you can do for others is to do, be, have and wear what makes you truly happy because that will shine through everything else. The more time you invest in working on yourself and your dreams, the more magnetic you will become to others. On the flipside, the more you try to please others, the more disappointed and frustrated you will become because there will always be someone who doesn't like how you dress (and, more often than not, this person will be your mother, your mother-in-law, or your significant other!).
Men (whether within a personal or professional relationship), surprisingly pick up on your “authentic/non-authentic” vibe more than women. If you’re centered, know what you want, and carry yourself with a healthy pride and grace - your style will reflect that, and your vibe will signal that without you having to do anything! When you’re a mess outside, change your style constantly, and don’t seem sure of where you're going with your outfits (one day you’re a corporate queen in a power suit, the next day you’re in yoga pants and cropped top, the day after that you’re in an ultra-feminine flowy dress), then you’re probably confused, insecure and unsure of yourself, so you’ll send very mixed vibrations. This leads to more negative feedback, more heartbreak, more despair. Either way, it’s a spiral that can go upwards and pull everything forward positively, or go downwards and take everything else with it. There is no “in between”.
Once you learn to be yourself (because trust me, it’s not something that happens overnight!), you’ll eliminate all of the second guessing! No more wondering what you could have done differently/better to make some happy, or pulling yourself to pieces because if you’d just been cuter/more feminine/sexier maybe he would have stayed. People will love you for who you are and the only person you need to worry about pleasing is yourself!
Whether you believe it or not, your style is always a visual interpretation of what’s going on inside. By making your style truly yours, you’ll free yourself from expectations of others. Besides, it’s all about having fun! Delight yourself every single day by choosing colors that make you feel alive and wearing clothes that you love and make you feel fantastic. Harness your creativity by experimenting with new combinations. Honor yourself by deciding exactly how you want to live your life – and then living it that way!
If there was a way to get constant mindset and style support from your very own Style Coach, you’d want it, right? If this support and advice came with a tribe of like-minded women cheerleading you on to achieve your goals, that’d be even better, wouldn’t it? And if all of this cost way less than your monthly coffee habit, well then, you’d be in, wouldn’t you?
Discover how you can become a member of The Stylish Female Society VIP Member’s Club club right HERE.
Not ready to commit? Let my FREE Chic Sheet show you how aligning your style with your inner beauty can help you to not only to look more stylish and put together but to actually feel beautiful from within.
Veronika Nemeth is the Founder and Creative Director of The Stylish Female Society. She is a seasoned Image Consultant, Personal Branding Expert and Transformational (Life)Style Coach helping heart-centered women to find their soul-aligned style and create a magnetic presence online & offline by uncovering their true essence and revealing their inner beauty through their style.
Her mission is to inspire women to step into their power, live their own truth and shine their authentic light through being the best version of them.